I’m Torn…
10 04 2008Yes, I am indeed!
I love schooling my children, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and well… have more of a purpose when I think of the ‘not-so-good’ days (you know what I mean?).
But, Junayd is going to turn 5 in November inshaa`Allaah, and we are fast approaching the end of the school year. Although he could remain part-time at his montessori nursery while being homeschooled part-time until October, I’m being told that I should find him a school now!
Who said I wanted to send him to school full-time? I’m having a harder time because… well, hubby and I do not see eye-to-eye on the homeschooling thing. Let’s just say that it is not only just us mothers who get stick for not sending our children to school, fathers feel the pressure too; but we have to learn to resist pressure, don’t we?
I am more than willing to step down from some of the many projects I am involved in just to school my children, but I’ve just got this major setback that won’t let me move forward.
It’s not that my hubby doesn’t see the benefit from homeschooling, although he hasn’t said so in many words, I do believe that he is impressed by just how much Junayd has learnt, and how much his little sister is now learning. But maybe it’s fear of not conforming… you know, having to answer the dreaded question: ‘Which school does he go to?’.
**sigh**
Help?
Assalamulaykum sister,
When I start to homeschool my children ( 4 of them), my hubby not really agree. He didn’t actually said that he didn’t agree, but keep asking me to go and register children to school.
May be homeschool a bit scare him off as in my country you rarely see homeschool children. He don’t really had confident about it. But, I did put my feet up and after nearly 3 months now, I think he can see the benefit and how it can be done. That children don’t really need to go to school to learn.
He never come up with the question about sending children to school anymore and although he didn’t involve with teaching them, alhamdulillah he support me in other thing such as to get material.
In a way I do understand how frustrated it can be when you had to be on your own to keep the decision to homeschool your children. I do understand with the question people will pop up.
assalamualaikum Ummjunayd,
Maybe it would help if you and your hubby have a talk about this whole homeschooling issue. The pressure to conform, oh yes, I had that problem too. My husband wasn’t too happy about the homeschooling thing either, but alhamdulillah he lets me have my way with the kids, because maybe he thinks I deserve it because I carried them for 9 mths and went through so much to deliver them LOL.
But if you could both be a unified strength against all that pressure out there, inshaallah you’ll be okay. I usually don’t talk much about homeschooling if people ask me, and my answers would depend on who is asking and how they’re asking
Sometimes if they ask, what school does he go to, I say he’s homeschooled. if they ask what grade is he in, I give a one word answer, if I feel that that person is not ready to hear the word homeschool lol.
so yes, you will get these questions, and i understand the pressure and trying to withstand it. It would really help if maybe you and your husband delve into the reasons for wanting to homeschool, and make that as one of your family’s ‘thing’ that no one else can mess with. I mean, we all decide for ourselves, what’s best for our families, right? Who are other people to tell us otherwise?
Hope that helps some, if not much
as salaamu `alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh
You know, this is how we see things. As a family we feel that this is the path that we have taken to please Allah. So it is our mission to do our utmost for our children, family and society and to help others navigate this path and to encourage them along the way. So if one does something for the sake of Allah then one shouldn’t care what others think
I agree with Sister Nadia… Pick your battles
Also, instil a sense of mission in your kids, which I am sure you already do. Let them do the answering 
They know when to be firm and when to be diplomatic 
A friend of mine has a standard answer: “We have looked at all the options and we think this is best for our family.” For those who argue with her, she says, “Yes, but we think this is best for our family.” Very dead-pan but allows for no other argument LOL!
Sometimes we can even go on the offensive
I am being very evil here! Before they say anything about you homeschooling, you can say, “OH! You mean you send your kids to school? Aren’t you worried about…” LOL!
I could wax lyrical but I’ll stop here
Glad you’re blogging again! I’m kinda back too… well, kinda!
Assalaamu ‘alaikunna my dear sisters.
**hugs all round**
Thank you so much for your words of advice… I think hubby and I need to sit down and seriously battle it out.
I just think that Islamic schools are way too overrated, and I know this because I used to work in one! The ironic thing is, at the school that he would like to send him to (which is close to us), the teachers have TOLD me that they would NOT send their kids to school, but would rather HOMESCHOOL them! Weird, or not?